When we feel disappointed or triggered by a conversation with a spouse, sibling, colleague, or even a friend, it can throw us off balance and lead to reactions that are the opposite of what we truly want. 

Suddenly, instead of feeling connected and understood, we might feel hurt, frustrated, or even defensive.

What may seem like a negative or adversarial experience is actually an opportunity for us to heal and show ourselves some love.

Oftentimes, our reactions aren’t big or loud. They can be more subtle, like a feeling of discomfort or tightness that no one else notices. 

For example, it’s the internal experience we get when we disagree with someone we care about—a sense of blame, criticism, or emotional upset that we feel deep inside. 

And it can even manifest physically, like a knot in our stomach or a lump in our throat.

There are also times when our reactions are more overt and dramatic. Maybe it’s a flash of anger when we get cut off in traffic, or the disappointment we feel when we don’t get the job we wanted. 

We might even feel threatened by someone’s confidence or react strongly when things don’t go the way we’d hoped—like when politics or world events don’t align with our values.

It’s important to remember that what we react to in either another person, or in our environment, often reflects something inside of us that feels unloved or unacknowledged. 

In these moments, we have a choice:

• We can react by isolating and protecting ourselves, staying hurt, and getting stuck in that emotional state. 
• Or we can ask ourselves, “What would love do here?” and take the opportunity to recognize the unmet needs inside, and show love to that part of ourselves.

The good news is that, rather than staying stuck in those reactions, we can use these moments as an opportunity to show compassion to the part of ourselves that is hurting.

Most of us already know that, at the core, there are only two things we can truly control: the thoughts we focus on and our response to what happens in our environment. Everything else is beyond our control.

Imagine you’re loving toward a child who is emotionally triggered—feeling judged, reactive, sad, or upset. What would you say to show them love? 

Most likely, you would be patient, gentle, and understanding, offering reassurance and compassion.

In the same way, the child inside each of us isn’t immune to feeling emotionally triggered or afraid.

So, the next time you feel thrown off balance—whether by a situation, a disagreement, or a person—ask yourself, “Could this be an opportunity for me to love myself, instead of blaming someone else or the situation?”

My mentor, Matt Boggs, always says that we have a choice: we can either believe “there’s a problem out there,” or we can believe “there’s an opportunity to love myself in here.” 

Choosing the second belief has a powerful way of reconnecting us with our innate resources—like kindness, courage, calm, clarity, and understanding. 

And these resources help us move through life’s challenges more gracefully, allowing us to find real solutions no matter what’s going on around us.

With love,

Cynthia

P.S. If you’d love help applying my most important tools and principles to your life, I warmly invite you to join me in person on March 1st.

I’m hosting a workshop designed to give you the exact steps you need to transform your results in 2025— and I’d love to see you there! Register now while tickets are still available by clicking here.