Every now and then, something simple reminds us of who we really are.
It’s often just a small shift in awareness that changes how we see ourselves.

On any given day, I’ve caught myself evaluating where I stand, how I compare, what still needs improving, a.k.a., “fixing”. It’s an unconscious, trained habit. 

I’m all for self growth, but it’s so easy to fall into wanting to fix yourself, which can quickly turn into a form of self-loathing.  

Somewhere in all that striving, it’s easy to overlook the completeness that’s already present. And you can’t hate yourself into being a better version of yourself, no matter how hard you try.

When I was growing up, I was trained to avoid being selfish, at all costs. When my mother didn’t approve of me asking for more of what I wanted, she often said, “That’s just selfish!” It wasn’t meant as cruelty, but it carried weight. 

Over time, that word began to define the space I allowed myself to take up. A part of me began to believe that I actually was a selfish person, and therefore less deserving of what I wanted. It’s weird how much influence is wielded by the messaging we receive in our upbringing. 

It taught me to minimize my own needs, to stay agreeable, to protect harmony at the cost of my own expression. For years, I didn’t even notice it operating in the background.

But as awareness deepens, the stories that no longer fit begin to unravel. 

What I once judged as selfishness was, in truth, the younger version of me doing my best to love myself in an environment where I felt small and love felt scarce. 

Seeing that truth reminded me that every person is doing their best with the understanding they have at any given moment, even if the way they’re doing it seems unskillful.

So instead of dismissing that part of myself, I began to honor her. I thanked her for trying, for doing what she could to stay connected to her own light. That was an act of courage.

It’s really through awareness that I am able to love that version of me who behaved at times in selfish ways.

For each of us, no matter what our stories have been, we belong to the same field of possibility. There isn’t a hierarchy of worth or a sliding scale of deserving. We all share the same access to love and to life itself.

So for you, what if there’s nothing to fix about you? What if there’s only things to recognize and be aware of? I invite you to notice where you may be holding yourself to outdated or impossible standards. Notice the ways you measure your value. 

You are not a project, or dare I say, mistake to be fixed. You are already whole.

Even when you falter, there is an honest intention underneath—some part of you reaching for balance or understanding. That part deserves compassion first, not correction, and certainly not shaming.

Today, instead of asking what you need to do better, consider what you might appreciate about yourself. 

Let that be enough.

You are a magnificent light being, with a core of love, becoming who you’re meant to be, and it’s unfolding exactly as it should.