Over the past two weeks, we’ve been looking “under the hood”, so to speak, exploring the nuances of vision and what can make it a powerful tool for you instead of remaining just a potentially empowering idea.

(As a reminder, or if you missed the last two emails, when you read, “vision”, think, “written statement of what you would love to create for yourself, in one or many areas of your life, as if it has already happened”.)

First, we talked about meaning. 

Not what looks impressive, not what sounds good, but why your vision actually matters to you. Why does this vision belong in your life?

Then we talked about the power of specificity. 

Allowing yourself to step into the moment of it. Using your imagination so the vision is not an abstract idea or wish, but something you can feel, even while you’re grocery shopping or participating in every day events. 

Using your imagination in this way generates the physiology in your brain and body that matches the state of being of fulfillment.

Today, I want to take us somewhere really subtle… to an understanding that can give you the inner motivation to stay the course and bring your vision to life, literally.

Because sometimes we get really clear on what our ideal life looks like, we think “Yes! This is what I want to have, to be, to do or to give.”  “This is the thing I want to change in my life, and I want the change, the transformation to look like this, and this is why….”

We’ve written it down. We’ve organized it by life category. We’ve chosen details. We’ve described it in present tense language.

But if we’re really honest, we notice that something about it does not light us up.

It makes logical sense. It checks the boxes. It may align with what we’ve invested years in building. It may reflect what other people expect of us. It may even be admirable.

But it does not create warmth in our chest, or that spark of a dopamine effect in our brain that comes with a surge of inner motivation or sense of accomplishment. It doesn’t make us smile. It doesn’t feel expansive.

And when that’s true, something begins to happen: the vision becomes heavy.

I have done this myself. I have created beautiful, well-structured, three-year visions, for every area of my life. I have added thoughtful details. 

And somewhere along the way, without even noticing it, I began falling out of love with it, feeling uninspired and putting it on the “back burner” which led to losing belief in myself.

I’d layered into my vision the things that made logical sense. 

What felt responsible. What justified my past investments. What I should include because I had already poured so much time, money, education, or life force into it. 

This left me feeling stymied in “nose to the grindstone” energy.

And slowly, what began as inspiring became demotivating. It became more disconnecting than connecting.

This is what happens when we are not calibrated within.

When the image we’re holding in our mind does not actually match what we feel love for, it causes a kind of internal dissonance. We can’t always name it.

It just feels tired — Like we’re pushing. Like we have to “buckle down” to stay committed to something that, if we’re honest, we’re no longer in love with.

And we tell ourselves that’s maturity. But often, it’s fear.

Fear of disappointing someone. 

Fear of invalidating years of effort. 

Fear of wasting what we’ve already invested. 

Fear of changing direction and who might say what in response. 

Fear that if we let ourselves want what we really want, everything else will have to collapse.

I remember being in college, studying to become a doctor, and falling in love with the idea of dancing professionally with a dance company. My heart was clear. But so were the fears. 

The money spent on tuition. The family expectations. The stories about having to starve if you want to be a dancer. All the reasons why I shouldn’t really want what I wanted.

But here is what I have come to understand:

This is your life. It’s precious. And your creativity and life force are only available to you now.

When you do not give yourself permission to want what you genuinely want, your subconscious knows. And the misalignment drains you. 

It drains you not because you are incapable, but because you are not calibrated to what is true for you. 

So here is the invitation this week.

You do not need to throw everything out. You do not need to announce anything. You do not need to act on it tomorrow.

Set a timer for twenty minutes if that feels safe. Do an experiment.

And ask yourself, with genuine interest and curiosity: What would I really love?

Not what makes sense, or what justifies my past. Not what keeps everyone comfortable.

What actually brings warmth and a sparkly feeling of flow to my heart and head? What makes me feel untangled, alive, limitless?

Let yourself feel that desire.

Because when you allow yourself to feel it, that’s emotional authenticity and something shifts. 

The idea moves from being a concept into creative, attractive energy. It begins to build mass, by attracting ideas for actions that will take you somewhere wonderful. 

You start noticing what Florence Scovel Shinn called “signs of land.” Ideas arise. Evidence appears. The vision stops being theoretical and starts becoming magnetic.

This is the result of calibration.

In case you worry that others will somehow be diminished or get mad and abandon you when you have more, know three things: 

One, they might get mad, but you have no control over that. Their path is their path and you don’t have to stop loving them; 

Two, you indirectly give others permission to align with their heart and have what they truly desire; 

Three, there is no private good, meaning when you play small and avoid following your impulse for growth, that doesn’t serve anyone. And on the other side of that coin, when you thrive, you initiate ripples of “good” that touch everyone involved. 

When you tune into what you love, you also begin to notice what’s no longer resonating. But instead of draining you, that awareness refines and uplifts you. 

You become a match for what you desire, simply because you got honest with yourself and aligned the images and emotions of your desired outcome with the feeling of love.

If you have any doubts, consider this:

• Are you really willing to throw your heart under the bus in order to maintain a vision that does not light you up?
• Do you really believe that serving a vision you’re not totally in love with will create the kind of joy you really want?

Most of us already know the answer.

This week, give yourself permission to fall in love with what it is you really would love. You’re worth it.