Last week, I saw a TV commercial that mentioned “Quitters Day.” It was the first time I’d ever heard that phrase.
It turns out the failure rate for New Year’s resolutions is a staggering 92%, and 23% of people give up within the first week. Hence, the not-so-inspiring term, “Quitters Day.”
Resolution
| noun | res·o·lu·tion /ˌrezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/
A promise to start doing something good or stop doing something bad, made on the first day of the year.
Resolutions tend to be problem-driven. We make them in reaction to something we dislike in our lives, focusing on the situations, conditions, or problems we want to avoid. But avoidance-based motivation is draining and fizzles out quickly.
Resolutions also come with a built-in limitation. They are often born from the mindset that what has been in the past determines what we can do, who we can become, and what we can have in the future.
This implies a lack of belief in our ability to change, setting the expectation that change will be hard and painful. Ugh. 🙁
If you find yourself stumbling, making progress but losing your momentum, be gentle with yourself. Let go of any hooks holding you to an “achievable standard.”
Take a deep breath. It’s okay. In fact, it’s good to shake off that “charge ahead, blinders on” mentality. Abandon the panic of thinking you’ll have to quit on yourself—again—and reset.
What if you had a New Year’s Vision instead of relying on a resolution?
A vision can be defined as a clear and compelling picture of the life you would love to live.
“Experienced leaders see vision as critical to a leader’s work.”
— The Work of Leaders (from the SeeBeyond blog)
Aren’t we all leaders of our own lives? What if having a vision is just as critical to your life’s success?
When we work with a vision, one reason it leads to success is because it’s born out of what really matters to us.
It shifts our focus from the problem we face to the possibility we desire. It connects us to our deeper purpose, providing the kind of motivation and drive that outshines any obstacle.
Yet, even with a clear vision, there’s an invisible force—like gravity—that tries to keep us in the comfortable zone of the life we know is safe.
I’m someone who has always had a vision and, with the best of intentions, pursued my dreams. But when I failed, I’d end up blaming myself, thinking I wasn’t “enough” or that something was wrong with me.
If any version of this sounds familiar, know that it’s not your fault!
With human birth, in both the best and worst of times, there’s always a part of us that wants to move forward, become more, and soar to new heights. And there’s always the part of us that pulls us back to the familiar, the safe zone. It’s simply human nature.
Safety and survival are so deeply hardwired that even the thought of setting goals—especially a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG)—triggers our survival mechanisms.
No wonder we get stuck. Yes, we’re the ones who orchestrate the struggle when trying to overcome the pull of the familiar, but for good reason: there’s a part of us that fears the change we say we want.
To our nervous system, maintaining good habits outside the comfort zone feels threatening and potentially dangerous.
But when you understand that your nervous system is just doing its job—keeping you safe—and that you’re not actually going to die if you venture down the path of building your dream…
…Then you can notice this pull and consciously decide to listen to the part of you that inspires you forward (even in the face of fear) and take action.
Without a vision to give you clarity, inspiration, and purpose, it’s too easy to give in to the pull of the familiar. That’s when you end up recreating the same version of your life, over and over.
So, how do you stop trying to “willpower” your way through the impulse to give up?
Willpower didn’t get astronauts to the moon and safely back home. Logical planning didn’t do it, either. Yes, there was science, skill, training, and funding—all of that mattered. But none of those things achieved the milestone.
Logic and reason aren’t what will achieve your goals and dreams, either. The scientist who led the space program that first got us to the moon had the word “love” in every language hanging on his office walls. The journey to the moon and back? He literally “loved” it into existence.
When it comes down to it, the “it” factor behind success is PASSION.
So, what can we do to give our passion direction and staying power?
#1 Love
Start by asking yourself, “What would I love?”
#2 Vision
From the infinite possibilities in your mind, the ones that truly inspire and move you, write down the components of a life you absolutely love. Then, write your vision statement, describing in detail the version of life that makes you feel excited and compelled to act.
#3 Support
When you entertain the ideas of what you truly would love to have, be, feel, give, and do in your life—if you even get to that point of wonder and creative imagination (past the obstacle of shutting down possibilities in your mind)—do you have the guidance and support to stay the course? To bypass the invisible pull of the familiar?
Because practicality and current circumstances have a way of obscuring our passion for bringing our vision to life.
When we rely solely on logical goal-setting, thinking that’s what will help us fulfill our goals (let alone keep our resolutions), we’re being delusional. It never works that way.
No one ever “will-powered” their way to fulfilling their dreams.
The answer is directing and amplifying your passion with love, vision and support. From that place, not even the sky is the limit!
With love,
Cynthia
P.S. If you’d love my support with this, I would love to see you March 1st. That’s right, in case you haven’t heard we’re doing an in-person workshop!
It’s going to be a jam-packed morning— filled with everything you need to knock your results out of the park in 2025— and I’d love to see you there! Register now for 50% off while tickets are still available by clicking right here.
