Have you ever walked into a family gathering, feeling optimistic and cheerful, only to find yourself suddenly triggered by old patterns, emotions, and insecurities you thought you’d left behind? 

That was exactly what I experienced this Easter. As I stood there, surrounded by family, I felt an unexpected wave of sadness rise up within me—sadness I couldn’t immediately understand.

At first, the sadness seemed to whisper to me, “You’ve been working so hard, but you’re still not there yet.” 

Even though I’ve achieved many of my dreams, seeing others (who I assumed had effortlessly already achieved their dreams) threw me into “comparison despair.”

The next morning, as I sat quietly journaling, I gave myself permission to gently explore these feelings. Instead of brushing them off or burying them beneath positivity, I decided to listen. 

And what I discovered was powerful: throughout my life—as a professional dancer, an aspiring Olympic gymnast, a perfectionist student, and an entrepreneur—I had unconsciously tried to fill an internal hole.

 A deep, aching sense of abandonment and inadequacy had driven my efforts, hoping external achievements could heal the pain of not feeling important, included, or valued enough.

Here’s the remarkable thing I’ve learned: when life triggers painful emotions, instead of immediately reacting or retreating into old, comfortable patterns, there’s tremendous power in pausing, breathing, and simply witnessing what’s happening within us. 

Recognizing that inner “hole,” that feeling of lack, allowed me to understand something essential—that nothing is actually missing.

The discomfort was simply an old belief rising to the surface, begging to be acknowledged and healed.

For decades, I had perfected the art of “shoving” down my feelings. Maybe you relate to this too. We all have our ways of avoiding difficult emotions.

Sometimes it’s excessive positivity—pretending everything’s fine when it’s clearly not—or keeping ourselves overly busy so we don’t have time to feel. 

Or perhaps it’s the “shoulds”: “I should be a good wife even if this communication is difficult,” or “I should stay in this job I don’t enjoy because my family needs me to.” 

And let’s not forget people-pleasing, especially for women—being the “good girl,” just to feel accepted and valued.

This time, after Easter, I chose differently. For several days, tears came spontaneously, and I allowed myself to fully feel every moment.

Unlike before, I didn’t pretend everything was fine. I acknowledged my sadness honestly.

But here’s the crucial step: whenever a strong emotion surfaced alongside self-critical thoughts, I paused and let myself experience the feelings. 

 As Byron Katie says, when you stop resisting what is, what is let’s go of you. I’ve found, you don’t have to do anything with the feelings you feel.

When we bravely face and embrace our feelings rather than shoving them aside, something incredible happens. Genuine acknowledgment creates inner peace, ease, and profound relaxation. 

It allows us to pursue our dreams from a place of abundance and self-worth, rather than striving to “fix” ourselves or prove our value externally.

True freedom and healing are always available. They simply require the courage to witness, embrace, and fully love ourselves—exactly as we are, feelings and all.

With love,

Cynthia

P.S. Want to go deeper? I’d love to help you! Let’s craft a life you truly love at my workshop, “Crafting Your Future,” on May 3rd. This is my FINAL in-person workshop of 2025. Click here to learn more and register. 🙂