Most of us already know what we want to change. By the time January arrives, there’s often a clear sense of what isn’t working anymore. 

The declaration gets made, I can’t keep doing this, or This time I’m really going to do it. And for a moment, that clarity feels powerful.

Then we do what we’ve always done.

We apply effort. We try harder. We push through the discomfort using the same internal strategies we’ve relied on for years, even though they haven’t produced the lasting results we want. 

The intention is sincere, but the approach is familiar, and familiar doesn’t necessarily mean effective.

When I was young, in the single digits, my grandmother paid for me and my two brothers to have sailing lessons. We’re talking small, the size of a rowboat with a 6 foot sail. 

Throughout the summer, there’d be several races with the other little kids who were taking lessons. During these races, in each boat there were three of us, and many times we’d find ourselves wanting to get from one side of the cove to the other, with no wind. 

In those moments I’d try to get in motion either by rapidly moving the rudder back and forth or blowing on the sail. Neither of those tactics propelled us forward very far, before the tide would pull us back.  

Of course now, I realize how fruitless those efforts were, yet that’s all I knew to do at the time. 

We’re smart people, we’re capable, successful, accomplished, creative and still, we tend to operate under the belief that if I just blow on my sail hard enough, long enough, diligently enough, then I’ll achieve my goal, then I’ll break out of this “struggle-to-succeed and not quite achieve my desire, or arrive at the finish line strained and exhausted” cycle. (I feel tired even reading that.)

Pushing, striving, forcing and will-powering our way to our next level works for a time, until it doesn’t. And more of the same goal-achieving efforts really gets us more of the same results. 

It makes sense. If we haven’t been shown another way, we use the tools we have. 

That was me, for years. The problem is that this approach rarely creates ease or sustainability. Even when it works, it often comes with tension, burnout, or a quiet sense of failure when we can’t keep it up.

The process starts to feel heavy, demanding and discouraging. Eventually, we conclude that personal growth is exhausting, that change requires suffering or that something must be wrong with us, not because we lack desire, but because the path itself feels overwhelming.

What’s rarely considered is that the struggle itself is a signal. A signal that we’re missing an essential step.

What’s missing is not motivation, and it’s not a matter of deserving. It’s presence.

When we don’t pause, when we don’t learn how to be present with ourselves and access the wisdom already available to us, change will always feel uphill, like something we have to fight our way toward. 

Presence isn’t passive. It’s powerful. It interrupts old patterns and creates space for new possibilities to emerge without force.

Presence makes welcome an inflow of inspired ideas that exquisitely guide us along the shortest path possible.

Presence changes the quality of the entire process. It brings awareness, curiosity and wonder into places that were previously driven by force.

This is the foundation of my work and this is why I am extending an invite for you to join me for a Presence & Possibility Session. 

Spend 30 minutes with me, and I’ll help you pause, get present and explore what becomes possible when growth is no longer fueled by pressure. 

If you’re someone who is ready to step out of effort-driven change and into an inspired, lighter, more fun and efficient way of growing, book your session here.