As we endeavor to build and live our best life, one that sparks and energizes our cells, thoughts and spirit, we’re not doing it in a vacuum. Becuase we’re not alone in this — others are involved, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Think about all the people you’re connected to and everyone you engage with in a day, whether you’re simply passing them in traffic or sitting down for a coffee together. 

How you silently consider and treat that person can either slow your progress or accelerate it, make your journey more pleasant or seem fraught with difficulty.

At a networking event I attended a few months ago, I decided to do an experiment. As I walked into the crowded, chatter-filled ballroom to find a seat, knowing no one, I wondered who I might meet and how I’d interact. 

In order to take my attention off my nervous self, I looked at one woman who was sitting at a nearby table, and asked myself: “How does she want to be seen?”

From that single experiment, I met two strong business connections, received two speaking invitations, and made three fabulous friends.

I also discovered something important.

By considering how a person would want to be regarded, I realized that fundamentally, everyone wants to be seen, received, perceived and recognized as their best self. 

Most people want to be noticed as being a fundamentally good, valuable and sovereign individual.

So, the next time you interact with someone, or even with a pet or an animal, approach the moment with curiosity and wonder. Silently ask yourself: “How does this person want to be seen?” 

Psychologist Carl Rogers refers to this as a bias of “unconditional positive regard.” 

When you do this, three things happen:

1- You hold a space for the other to show up as their best. 

2- You see them the way they want to be seen. By doing so, you prime your own inner emotional frequency and nervous system for receiving a plethora of opportunities, ideas, connections and situations that shorten the journey to realizing your goals and dreams.

3- It becomes a form of actively loving yourself and another, because they feel seen and loved in your presence.

And the blocks between you and your best life begin to dissolve.

You basically end up magnifying, amplifying and unlocking a firehose flow of “good” for yourself and everyone around you.

And it can be fun. The best experiments usually are. Try it out.